A bouncer at a fleapit on the North Kent coast shows his disdain for the gymnastics of a drunk punter in the form of a mime. Next week he’ll express himself using free form jazz dance!

It’s always a good idea to get low-rent cockney villain types to frequent your club, it makes the ratboy chavvy types think they’ve really made it, rubbing shoulders with such vermin. I can just picture him saying “See that bracelet son, cost my 4 grand that did! Have you met Sharon?”

You’re on to your forth round of 2 for 1 WKD drinks deals at your local fleapit and its time to give it some on the dance floor. You dare not put one of your drinks down, in case one of the other chavvy patrons necks it!

You know you’ve had one WKD too many when a bouncer has to scoop up your drunken carcass and sling you out the door!

If you are going to slap on the gravy, it’s a good idea to make sure the hue and saturation of your face and body match. She should have taken some tips from mum!

Club owners up and down Britain are installing Poles, not for hired dancers, but for the average punter to show off their stripper prowess. Which for the owner means they can sit back and watch some vigorous drunken dignity ransacking. Plus the girl on the left seems to be doing the Ramshank!

The club is about to turf your drunken arse out the door at the end of the night, so it’s time to grab a kiss and stick your hand down the jeans of the girl with the prison tattoo on her shoulder… *cringe*

It’s all the craze in the provincial clubs up and down Britain, if your going out on the pull, why not bring your mum along with you. She might even cop off herself. Take a look at this lovely picture of mother and daughter. Note the woman in the background who’s had one too many WKD’s and is now going through the washing machine cycle of drunken emotions. She’s just done euphoria and now it’s back to crying!