Frontrunners for the Ransacking prize of the night!

…in the Ransacking stakes.

I know the shame of passing out and waking up with a full face of trollop makeup… I feel your pain pickle bunny!

You know what kind of establishment it is when the proprietor comes round with a 6′ inflatable cock.

Putting your balls on your passed-out mates head, this isn’t gay at all!

A toothless codger pulls himself a right stunner with the promise of Strongbow… Mmmm!

When lady fame has passed by and you try and cling to fame doing ‘charidy’ work or opening a new branch of Lidl, it’s time to think about a real job again!

Where do I begin, I covered the eyes but you can still see the spiders. Then there’s the teeth… but that is nothing compared to the fake tan that has been lovingly built up for so many weeks, it might well be dyeing sub-dermal tissue… Jordan, there’s a new chav queen on the block!

The girls are indeed, back in town!

After 15 long years in chokey, Barry treats his missus ‘Shell to a night ‘aaagghht on the taaaahn’. She stuck with him all this time, gawd bless ‘er!

As the proprietor comes round with his camera, your mate goes for the classic ‘lipstick lesbian’ shot. Your refusal at the final ransacking hurdle leads to a full-on face lick. It maybe a technical fault but it is all ransacking in our eyes!

You’ve quaffed a dozen Bacardi Breezer style £1 specials and for some reason, you’re still not pissed. However your bladder is the size of a basketball as you stave off the inevitable trip the the unsanitary club toilets…

A picture crashing drunk gets more than he bargained for!

Any port in a storm, even if that’s your mates pie hole!

WE have found a new front runner for the Ms Orange 2009 contest. It’s hard to see how this can be beaten without a nuclear glow!

Memorial tattoos, they bring a tear to my eye every time I see one on a granny in a nightclub, chaving it up with her daughter… get in Mr Bouncer!

A young man demonstrates to the club owner that he was indeed born with the instinct to breed… oh no.

You really don’t want to touch that floor with naked skin, you’ll catch something… probably anti-biotic resistant!

Made to ransack your dignity by your boss. Our thoughts and best wishes are with you Mr Bouncer.

It’s cabaret time at your local fleapit and the snake ladies are back and ready for a UV Party!