Frontrunners for the Ransacking prize of the night!

…in the Ransacking stakes.

A toothless codger pulls himself a right stunner with the promise of Strongbow… Mmmm!

After 15 long years in chokey, Barry treats his missus ‘Shell to a night ‘aaagghht on the taaaahn’. She stuck with him all this time, gawd bless ‘er!

Memorial tattoos, they bring a tear to my eye every time I see one on a granny in a nightclub, chaving it up with her daughter… get in Mr Bouncer!

A feeling of mild ennui crept over him as he started to question himself, “What am I doing with my life, what am I doing here?” as the rank old granny licked his face.

He’s just got out a prison after an armed robbery in the 80’s. He’s got his gold bling out of the safety deposit box and off his ex-missus. Time to get laid!

It’s Friday night… Non-branded prison-white trainers – check, high waistband beige chinos – check, time to charm the knickers off some inbred locals!