This is what alcoholic blue pop does to you.

Watch me deep throat this Blue WKD bottle!

The king of satire does it again!

Yellow hair and black eyebrows, it’s a great look!

I know the shame of passing out and waking up with a full face of trollop makeup… I feel your pain pickle bunny!

You know what kind of establishment it is when the proprietor comes round with a 6′ inflatable cock.

A toothless codger pulls himself a right stunner with the promise of Strongbow… Mmmm!

Any port in a storm, even if that’s your mates pie hole!

Made to ransack your dignity by your boss. Our thoughts and best wishes are with you Mr Bouncer.

A feeling of mild ennui crept over him as he started to question himself, “What am I doing with my life, what am I doing here?” as the rank old granny licked his face.

Doing a PA at a provincial nightclub where you’re considered a celebrity has it perks.

If you like me, you have never heard of ‘DJ Talent’ and are about to google him, I’ve saved you the bother… dear lord!

…and those are just the ones she can remember!

…and I’ll Ransack my Dignity before yee!

“I wish I could quit you!”

What do you mean you’ve never taken a sex doll with edible underwear to a club with you?

I bet those PVC trousers from the market are nice and comfortable in a hot and sweaty nightclub?!!!

There comes a time when some people try to recapture their youth… usually drunk in their local fleapit. Dear lord!

I really must start a Ms Orange 2009 competition, for the most richly basted individual!

A bouncer at a fleapit on the North Kent coast shows his disdain for the gymnastics of a drunk punter in the form of a mime. Next week he’ll express himself using free form jazz dance!